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Tailor of Clouds

....tacking silver linings into stormy overcoats....

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated." - Goethe

I spent years trying to train myself to avoid labels, but they are so darned useful at times....I am a 3y year old goddess worshiping treehugging polyamorous sometimes-kinky heteroflexible Hindu-leaning pagan, and a mom. I have finally begun to feel centered in myself and it's such a new feeling I still marvel at it every day. I have two children, Miss Peaches is 11 and Mister Monkey is 8. Peaches spent two years as a competitive gymnast, but is now doing recreational gymnastics and Judo, she homeschooled off and on, but has now tossed herself in the deep end of a local STEM magnet program where she is excelling. Monkey is taking a break from Tae Kwon Do and thriving in the bilingual program at school and has thrown himself with great enthusiasm into gymnastics. I raise them with their father, JB, his wife, Miss A, and my co-parent GS, and love every thrilling exhausting overwhelming hilarious minute of it (even if there are days when I forget that). I live in Central Texas and am working toward living a more sustainable life, a process I blog (_extremely_ sporadically) at my suburban permaculture blog: Converting Habits. I have a boyfriend, ee, that I've been engaged in a poly relationship with for six years and try each day to work toward being a better partner in every way.

I was diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar disorder with psychotic episodes and anxiety disorder in fall of 1995, and with fibromyalgia several years later when they determined that to be the cause of the pain that had started to curtail my activities in junior high and high school. I am disabled and some days I'm still angry about that, though mostly I'm matter of fact about it. I am (technically) a single mom, and while some days I yearn for a live in partner, most days I feel as far from single as it is possible to get and still not have to share your closet.

This journal has joy and sorrow, rage and whining, poetry and erotica, celebration and wailing and mourning and snark (at me and at others). I share politics and humor, religion and doubt. Please see the first post on my journal to see filter options, which I occasionally even remember to use. There, you've been warned. ;P

I am deeply grateful for all the many blessings in my life, most especially on the darkest days.

Devi; in all ways, your way.

Shiva, help me balance my duties to home with my outside interests.
Parvati, help me be patient when my loved ones have needs that pull them from me.
Kwan Yin, let me be merciful and compassionate in all my thoughts and deeds.
Lakshmi, help me walk my path with grace and beauty and see opportunity when it presents itself.
Ganesha, dance with me. Take joy in my endeavors. Aid me with your wisdom; clear my path when it is proper, and gently place limits when I stray too far.
Kali, help me do what must be done with precision and intent.
Gaia, help me to walk gently and consider your needs in all my choices.

Mother, if it be your will, grant that it be so.

Become a bone marrow donor:
And remember, just because it says to contact them about a medical condition does NOT mean it will automatically disqualify you, it means send 'em a note and they will email your answer. You just might be privileged to help save a life!

Or, take an even faster step to help: Become an organ donor-- https://www.donatelifetexas.org

Better yet, do both!

"Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty.
It is compatible neither with obedience, jealousy nor fear.
It is there most pure, perfect, and unlimited when
its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve."

-Percy Byshe Shelley

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."
-Anais Nin

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."
Unknown source

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”
“You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.”
-Dr Seuss

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."
Jane Howard

“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.” -John Muir

"And I'm not even going to get into a whole "what is a real writer" thing, because like I know anything,[...] the only people who do that are guilty of asshead disease and terminal drama. Writing is opening up a crack just wide enough to let some light into you, and some you onto the page, so that the next person feels less alone. And if this is the thing that frightens you [...] then you have chosen precisely the wrong job, because that's the entire requirement: being honest, for a living, for the rest of your life." -Jacob from Television Without Pity

Conscious Consumer


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